Tuesday, January 27, 2009

"We're all mad here..." - Lewis Carroll

Someone recently told me there is a fine line between being aggravated and being mad. I have found this to be untrue. Being aggravated is far worse. It’s an indecisive emotion. I’m not mad, but something is bothering me, something or someone is getting under my skin. If I am mad, I am angry or enraged. I am ready to take action. I am out for the kill. When I am aggravated, I just don’t know what to do.

I am aggravated now. I don’t have a good reason to be mad, but I’m not happy with the things that are going on. I don’t like to leave things up in the air. I want to make a decision. There has to be something specific to make me mad. When I’m aggravated it could be any number of small things. I go through these things repeatedly in my head, examining, probing, groping for something -just one little thing- to make me decide once and for all that I am PISSED THE FRAG OFF! The more I think about these things, the more muddled my mind becomes, and I just end up all that much more aggravated!

What is much worse than being aggravated with a situation is being aggravated with a person. Try telling a living breathing human being all the little things that have you aggravated. Of course, these things do not bother the other person nor are they even thinking about them! (You know they are no matter what they say!) Not only do you sound like a stark raving lunatic ready for a room at Bedlam, but in the end, you doubt your take situation and add to your indecision as well!

I suppose I have no choice but to keep being indecisively aggravated. If I tell him these things, I sound foolish. I keep them to myself and they fester. In the end, being aggravated drives you mad. For the love of God, I wish he would just piss me off! (Does it surprise anyone that I am aggravated with a man?)

These are just my thoughts. Laugh at them; make fun of me, whatever you want. I keep a blog to write about the things that make up my life. This is one of them. Maybe nothing I have said here fits the ‘dictionary meaning’ of these terms. If you have ever had an emotion in your life, you know that Webster’s opinions do not apply here!

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