A quick rundown of my night at work last night.
Room 121 B – Martha French… Is a German lady with a feeding tube who is bedridden and rarely speaks. She said ‘Hi’ to me, and laughed when I spilled a can of Nutren Glytrol on myself. (a sticky nutritional supplement) It’s our running joke that I am the messy nurse. She was having a good day.
Room 122 B – William the pervert…was out with his wife during my shift . Yeah!
Room 123 A – Ellen Anderson…was not having such a good day. Wanted to go out and buy her daughter a Christmas present. “I had the strangest dream…and you were in it! You were giving me pills.” Um… that wasn’t a dream, but okay.
Room 124 A – Sally Caron… 10:45 PM “Honey, have they served breakfast yet?” Actually, yes, although it was some time ago! I got her some cereal and decaf, she went back to bed.
Room 125 – Mr. and Mrs. Martin… “Our son that has MS had to have back surgery today,” a teary eyed Mrs. Martin told me. “He is so sick. He fell down a flight of steps at work fifteen years ago and hasn’t been the same since, and now, with the MS…”
Room 126 B – Marvin Borders… Was running around with his lady friend as usual! They are so cute together!
Room 127 A – Louise Zimmer… Upon returning from a visit with her huband, hands me her hearing aides, and states “Finally! I can get some peace and quiet! That man never shuts up!”
Room 128 – Margie Guisen… “Did you run the numbers for the Allen account?” (She was reading them off her bed spread) Of course I did, and we will discuss them over dinner tomorrow.
Room 129 A – Janet Wones…Her electric recliner decided to short out while she was up in the air. It took myself and two of my aides to get her safely into her bed.
Room 129 B – Esther Williams… “Honey, is my husband dead?” I tell her that he is (this is a conversation we have often) and ask her to tell me something about him. I have found that the best way to deal with this is to ask her to tell me a story about him, and of course give her a big hug and a kiss and cover her up tight. Let me add that her daughter – an only child – is a worthless piece of shit that moved out of the country and quit paying to have her mother’s hair done. I make sure she gets it done at least once a month. I would love to knock that daughter out! (Ooooh! Do I sense a little hostility?)
Room 130 A – Margaret Ashworth… returned from the hospital. I am glad to have her back safe and sound.
Room 130 B – Edna Owens… Was a very active 96 year old woman before a fracture in her right hip left her bedridden a few weeks ago. I have been very concerned about her mental health, but she seems to be doing well. I contacted her church group and some of her friends on campus and encouraged them to visit. They have been, and she was very excited to tell me about someone who brought her a tape player and books on tape. She always keeps peppermint patties on hand for me. Yum!
Room 131 A – Betty Salyer… Went home on Thursday. Normally this would be a good thing, but she is living with her son and about fifteen cats and was not cared for very well. The son is a little questionable… maybe a little ‘slow’. I was sad to see her go.
Room 132 A – Ruby Wentworth… Is about 65 and was admitted after a stroke. She has a hard time getting her words out, but I have learned to communicate well with her and usually know what she is trying to say. She enjoys hearing about my dates, and I enjoy telling her.
Room 133 B – Josephine Flannigan…Is known across the whole campus as ‘The Drug Queen’ . Most nurses dread working with her. I have actually had her open doors to other patients rooms looking for me. I have learned just to give her whatever she wants (within reason) and we get along famously. She knows my work schedule better than the staffing office!
A few notes
*The nursing facility where I work is very large. We house approximately 800 residents in independent homes, apartments, and in the skilled (nursing home) area. That’s why they call it a campus. We have our own water tower and post office even!
*I have 25 patients all together. These were just the most interesting tidbits from last night.
*Obviously there is much more to my job, but the rest of you would either find boring or gross, so I left it out.
Comedy is a Serious Business
1 day ago