Saturday, February 14, 2009

Grieving the loss of my dreams

Beautiful Lisa, author of ‘Transcript of a Significant Life’ ( left a comment on my entry entitled ‘Lying My Way Through the Day’. It mentioned that I was still “grieving for the loss of my dreams.” My thick head couldn’t comprehend anything more than she must have thought I wanted my ex husband back. I told myself she didn’t know me and was trying to be helpful, yet those words kept tickling my frontal lobe for several days.

Turns out that this woman who I have never met or spoken to, and who lives a world away, knows me better than I thought.

I was turning those words over in my mind while lying in bed this morning, and it dawned on me that I am grieving the loss of my dream! Not my husband, but the dream of forever, the dream of having children and raising them with a man I love, the dream of growing old together and experiencing the triumphs, pit falls, and joys of life with my one and only. In my dream, there is someone to listen to and support me, just as I do for them; someone to kiss in the rain, and make love to under the stars. These are all things I still believe in. He didn’t take that away from me.

Lisa, it is a true gift to be able to give words to someone that make them realize something about themselves they didn’t know. Thank You!

Stay, stay at home, my heart, and rest;
Home-keeping hearts are happiest,
For those that wander they know not where
Are full of trouble and full of care;
To stay at home is best.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


  1. you are welcome- all endings bring a grief cycle- your ex was not your dream, he was an aspect of it and the rest of it is still there- hopefully you will see that soon....Lisa xx

  2. So true.

    Our expectations do lead us down some funny old roads.

    Came from Lisa blog....


  3. I found my way her from Lisa's blog. She tends to say exactly what needs to be said, doesnt she!

    I have read back through a few of your posts and wish to congratulate you for your strength and determination to regain your life. Keep going and remember that you are soooo worth it!!!

    Take care

  4. Hi Vevay, I'm here 'cause Lisa said we should come visit :)

    This grieving for the loss of dreams idea is exactly the way my mum expresses how she feels about the breakup of her marriage. My dad left after they'd been together for 37 years, she doesn't want to get back together but the grief is real.

    I hope all your dreams come true for you in time :)